By Amelie Francisco
We’ve all heard it before but maybe some of us don’t quite register how much it affects the LGBTQ community to constantly be hearing phrases like “that’s so gay”. Casual homophobia is everywhere. It is especially prominent in a high school environment and it is so easy to dismiss. This creates a culture where people don’t even realize what they’re saying is wrong or harmful especially when they haven’t experienced any form of discrimination. Students at Howe Sound have been affected by casual homophobia in many ways including being asked about their genitals or being the target of homophobic slurs that are used without a second thought. My friends and I have been called a “queer club” by some random person who knew nothing about any of us. His intent was definitely not friendly. Casual homophobia is part of a much bigger problem but by raising awareness of the smaller issues we are able to combat the bigger ones.
There is no definition of casual homophobia but you know it when you see it. Students at Howe Sound describe it in different ways. One student described it as “homophobia that isn’t frowned upon and is seen as normal such as the phrases that’s so gay or no homo”. Another student defined it as “someone saying something homophobic out of ignorance instead of hatred”. However you define the term, the fact remains that hearing it every day is extremely harmful to the LGBTQ community and allowing it to continue and go unnoticed paves the road for larger acts of homophobia such as violence or outright bullying on the basis of gender or sexual orientation.
Fortunately, incidences of casual homophobia or homophobia, in general, are not huge issues in our school but they are still there. It exists in many forms, from transgender people being asked inappropriate questions about their body to lesbians feeling uncomfortable expressing affection towards their friends out of the fear of coming off as predatory. Casual homophobia is way more widespread than most of us realize. LGBTQ students at our school have been called homophobic and transphobic slurs such as ‘q*eer’, ‘tr*nny’, ‘f*ggot’, ‘d*ke’, and more. The use of these slurs has become more acceptable because casual homophobia is more or less accepted in society. Just because casual homophobia is technically ‘better’ than more harsh and blatant forms of homophobia doesn’t mean it is not an issue worth talking about. Instances of casual homophobia can be very subtle such as people bringing up certain gender identities and sexualities as something to laugh about. Transgender students at our school have been asked offensive questions like “how does it feel to not be a real guy?” Questions like this while clearly offensive are generally tolerated even though they aren’t even true because transgender men are real men! Same with transgender women. LGBTQ kids at our school face casual homophobia every day, both directed at them and just in general. Both forms are very harmful and lead to larger problems.
Casual homophobia affects individual people in different ways. It makes many feel insecure in their gender or sexuality. Such as when transgender people are told they don’t pass it can make their dysphoria worse and can lead to depression and/or anxiety. It is not the LGBTQ community’s job to educate their cishet peers about these issues but common instances of casual homophobia can make it feel like it is. It can easily become exhausting to repeat the same thing to every confused person. The predatory lesbian trope is also something that is common. A heteronormative environment can create a lot of stigma about being a woman attracted to women. Casual homophobic remarks such as ‘I heard she’s a lesbian I hope she doesn’t get a crush on me’ create an extremely uncomfortable situation for queer women to exist in. It can cause them to hide in the closet or simply refrain from showing any, even platonic, affection to their friends. A casually homophobic culture is easy to create and can cause LGBTQ people stress and anxiety because they don’t feel like they are completely accepted and respected by their peers.
Casual homophobia has many negative effects on the community as a whole. One of the biggest being that children grow up associating the word gay with bad. As kids grow up and possibly learn that they are part of the LGBTQ community having these ideas ingrained into their heads from an early age can be detrimental to their mental health. Some kids grow up with LGBTQ family members, such as gay parents or transgender siblings and hearing common homophobic remarks can make them feel ashamed of their own family. Growing up with casual homophobia makes many of us associate being queer with being wrong or weird. It is unfortunately still a taboo topic in many circles and can cause queer kids to hide in the closet and repress their feelings or identity. With so many queer teens feeling uncomfortable with their own identity its no wonder that suicide and depression rates are so much higher. Homophobia, even casual homophobia, kills. At its core homophobia is rooted in the need for control. Diversity can scare people. Conformity is something that is rewarded in our society. Differences are often made to seem wrong to try to force people to conform, which is how conversion therapy became common practice. Queer teens need to know they’re safe, they need to know it’s okay to be exactly who they are, and they definitely need to be able to live their lives without hearing slurs thrown around in the hallway on their way to class.
A special thank you to every student at Howe Sound who let me interview them as a source for this article! I couldn’t have done it without you.